Sick

Would you rather be mildly sick for a week or really sick for 3.5 days?

Considerations:

• The half day of sickness would be the first, and you'd have a "normal" feeling morning before the onset.
• "Sick" can mean a variety of things, but the main feature is "general malaise." (This may include, but is not limited to: fever, cough, sore throat, congestion, nausea, headache, lightheadedness.)
• "Mildness" is determined by having either few or mild symptoms. (You do not get to pick the symptoms).
• "Really"ness is determined by having many or severe symptoms (you do not get to pick them, and they would be sufficiently severe to cause you to miss some work).
• Severe illness would disrupt your plans.
• You could still do things while mildly ill (e.g. go to work), but you'd feel shitty.
• If you pick severe sickness, there is a very small chance that your severe illness could be Ebola or flesh eating bacteria, which may kill you within the 3.5 days.
  

Cuckold or Adulterer

Would you rather be cheated on or catch your partner cheating on you?



Considerations:

• Assume a long-term committed relationship.


• Aforementioned cheating would be continuous (mistress/[is the male version a mister? master?) rather than a one time ordeal (oops).


• If you opt to be cheated on, you would discover the indiscretions of your partner.


• Cuckolds can retain the "moral high ground" and garner sympathy ("poor guy, his wife cheated on him").


• If you were the cheater, assume a 50% chance that you would be discovered by your partner, and if discovered about a 50% chance that it would precipitate the end of the relationship.


• Cheatee could probably coax/guilt the cheater into staying.


• Cheatee has a sympathy advantage in the event of the disolution of the relationship in terms of legal proceedings.

Famous or Dog Bite

Would you rather be famous or be bitten by a dog on the ass?

Considerations:

• The dog bite would hurt a lot, and you wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for weeks.
• You'd probably need stitches or the rabies vaccine.
• You would not get to choose how you became famous.
• There's a very real chance (over 50%) that you could be famous for something less than notable (think Scott Peterson, Natalee Holloway, Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole Smith) .
• You could sue the dog owner and potentially recover damages.
• The dog might be a stray
• You might end up rich and famous (think people who are famous solely for being rich like Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and the google guys--then you wouldn't need the style high club to get deals on fashion).

Donuts or Drugs

Would you rather be addicted to donuts or drugs?

Considerations:

• Both provide heightened sensory experiences.
• Your friends/family could send you to rehab for drug abuse. There is no known cure for donut addictions (though sour cream glazed can help).
• Drugs can make you do crazy things.
• Donuts can make you fat.
• Drugs can make you skinny. (remember the heroin chic period of the 90s?)
• Donuts are cheaper than drugs (meaning you can get coffee AND donuts cheaper than getting just drugs).
• Donuts are more accessible than drugs (meaning it would be a harder habit to kick since you could go to a Dunkin Donuts 24/7 and have a blueberry cake donut).
• Drugs are potentially more addictive than donuts.
• You may run into police at the donut shop and chuckle that there are police at a donut shop.

Spam

Would you rather: Eat Spam OR Receive a lot of Spam?

Considerations:

• You would have to eat the entire can of spam, but you can prepare it however you like.
• Outside of Hawaii, Spam is generally regarded as disgusting.
• You would receive an obscene amount of spam, daily (think however much email you legitimately receive would be matched by 4x as much spam).
• Your spam filter is not 100% accurate, meaning that there would be false positives and to make sure you didn't delete something important, you'd have to go through your spam folder.