Kill a Turtle or Scientologist Friend
Would you rather kill a turtle or have one of your good friends become a Scientologist?
Considerations:
- The turtle is exotic, rare, and older than your oldest living relative.
- The turtle is named "Sam" and people call him "Sam the turtle."
- There is a 0% chance that you'll be able to convince your friend to renounce his/her scientologist beliefs.
- There is a 66% chance that your friend will try to convert you to scientology. This would, at the very least, be quite annoying. (Whether s/he succeeds depends upon your fortitude.)
- There is a 100% chance that the turtle will die when you kill it.
- You could keep the turtle shell as a memento.
- Sam's terrarium will look quite empty without him.
- You could kill Sam in any manner that you choose.
posted by Hypotheticon @ Thursday, March 30, 2006
2 Comments:
tie the scientologist to a chair and force him to watch gay porn until he dies. Rememeber, he is a scientologist and you are not;therefore, you are an ennemy to his "church".
so.. in otherwords, it wont matter killing him since he isnt your friend anymore!
Ooh tough one. Scientologist friend. I only have one person as a friend that i really care about so as soon as the new scientologist starts trying to convert me, i would simply leave him in a pit of mormons and see who wins.
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